I think I am just over stressed lately. There are just too many things going on and it is quite overwelming. I don't know if it is because my tom is late due to not eating meat, or if its this crazy heat wave. But...iono.. everything is just too crazy for me right now.
My mind has not been in the game lately. I have been forgetting things, leaving things out, not paying attention to people, just... my mind is somewhere.. I really don't know where :\ ! I can't seem to focus that much and my mind just wonders off. I would have to take a lot of effort to really pay attention to something. I think it has to do with my brain having its own little defense system. :\ ? Iono... =A=;; !
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| Trafalgar Law will be my doctor please ~ <3 I choose all of the above minus the walk away <3 |
At first ~ I want to send out an appology to all my close friends who have to deal with me right now. Lately my head has not been in the game, and I may seem to be doing things to hurt my bestest friends feelings. I want to say I am sorry and that I really don't mean to do what I did. I am really out of it and I.. I can't explalin my behavior bc I really don't know what it is either. Please accept my appologizes ahead of time as well. .__. !
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Also ~ My heart is angry. Hlim has visited me this weekend and there were a lot of up and downs. In the 4 ish days that he was here ~ he has managed to make me cry twice. His behavior on Friday was completely unacceptable. His attitude during the whole visit was terrible as well. There were good moments as well but the bad moments really pissed me off. I dont know if its bc the heat was affecting him, and if he is just iono... things going on with him that made him act this way. But it was unacceptable. These kinds of moments make me really think ~ "Is this the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with later on in the future~" Its a really difficult question to answer. I love him. I really do ~ But with the way his attitude, goals in life is ~ I don't see myself marrying this guy in the future, unless he changes his attitude. I love him and there are things about him that I love. But... there are limits to certain things you can live with and accept. For now ~ we left on a good note. Things are fine and happy again. But he will visit me again in November ~ So I want to see if his attitude has changed. I think he just needs an epiphany and to mature a little more. ~ Ehh.. we will see what life takes me. ~(=u=)~
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| Gomu gomu no... GATTLINGU!!! |
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School has also been a slight issue ~ I just had to pay an arm and a few legs ~ But its ok! Slowly paying things... T^T9 !! Good news is all the things I think I need is pretty much ordered. My bajillion of textbooks are on its way ~ I picked up my uniforms and goggles. Got my dental shoes also ! So so far, I am set a bit~ I may need 1 more book, get some new white socks, and basic shirts to wear inside my uniform.
All is left is parking permit, financial aid papers ~ and finally go to fix up my doctor papers T^T;;; !!
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Finally... my uncle just had surgery today and he went back home. Then suddenly he got rushed to the emergency room. He is ok now ~ My mom brought him back home to our house and now he is resting. Tomrw my mom is going to take him to the doctors to get checked. I just want to add a lil venting of my own ~ TLDR ~
First of all ~ to the "wife" and those "fuckin kids" of my dear Uncle. YOUR FUCKIN HUSBAND/ FATHER GOES TO THE FUCKIN EMERGENCY ROOM AND YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK!?!??! SRSLY!?!?! SRSLY?!?!?! YOU FUCKIN TURN OFF YOUR PHONES AND NOT PICK UP YOUR PHONES AND DONT GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITH HIM!? NOT EVEN TO VISIT?! You also dont fuckin take him to his own fuckin surgery today either?!?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!?!?! ARE YOU HUMAN!?!? HES RESTING AT OUR HOUSE, while you fucktards are just resting at home not giving a fuck.
YOU ARE NO FAMILY OF MINE. If I EVER see your fuckin muggs NEAR my house again. I swear to god I will fuck up your faces. YOU ARE NO FAMILY OF MINE. YOU WILL NEVER BE. NO ONE will show up when one of you end up in the hospital. NO ONE WILL GIVE A RATS ASS if something happens to you. Mayb my mom bc shes an angel, but STILL... may Karma kick your ass. Its bc of my dear uncle's feelings that we havnt kicked you guys in the faces inside out. May Karma kick your faces inside out. I hope Karma pwns your fuckin asses so hard. You don't deserve to be called human. Fuckin *insert the most terrible word you can think of for an object bc they are not human*...!!!!
/ End rant
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Sorry for the foul language.. I am just so consumed with stress, anger, and disappointment.. I just don't know what to say =-= ! I think I am going to rest for the night...~ Sweet dreams !
